Ugh.

This afternoon I went for a walk around the perimeter of the uni - down High St, along Anzac Pde, up Barker St, along Botany St and back down High St to my office. It's the second time I've done this walk. Both times were penance for eating chocolate.

I think I'm addicted to chocolate. I can't eat it in moderation - I have to go cold turkey. I can usually avoid buying chocolate, unless I've feeling particularly depressed, stressed, or low in blood sugar, but if it's in front of me, I eat it all. I love my friend Danielle, but why did she have to give me a chocolate Crunchie bunny as a (late) birthday/Easter present? Oh well. I think I've possibly turned myself off chocolate for awhile. Evil stuff.

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I am feeling so exhausted and unproductive at the moment. Things were going really well for a time - I was working hard and getting lots of work done, but now I can't concentrate. Maybe I've worn myself out. I was getting frustrated with my first chapter, so I decided to take a break from that and start analysing my early primary sources, starting with Richard Hooker's Of the Laws of Ecclesiastical Polity (c. 1592). It was addressed "To them that seeke (as they tearme it) the reformation of Lawes, and orders Ecclesiasticall, in the Church of ENGLAND." Hooker is basically rejecting Puritan reformers, from what I've read so far (which is not much). I started reading a fascimile of an early edition, but I was finding the old English a bit hard to handle. Usually I can cope - I can deal with the 's's looking like 'f's, and some of the bizarre spelling, but when there's also 'u's instead of 'v's and vice versa, and 'i's instead of 'j's, plus even more bizarre spelling, it's rather difficult. Even an edition translated into modern English was difficult. I think Hooker has to be the most convoluted writer I've ever read. Imagine Yoda speaking in Old English and you'd be pretty close.

Today I've also been trying to read Paradise Lost for the CASE Christianity and Great Books course, but I haven't been going well with that either. I'm so tired and my eyes are all scratchy. Not much fun. I just want to go home and sleep.

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I think I might stay home tomorrow. There's no point forcing myself to sit here for 10 hours if I'm not getting anything done. I'll just get even more tired and frustrated and slip back into my vicious cycle of stress and anxiety. That would not be a good thing at all.

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Zzzzzzzzzzz...........