The Bible - LOLCat style!

Romans 8:28-39:

28 U no, teh Ceiling Cat, he always doin stuff for ur own gud, if yu luvs him.29 Teh Ceiling Cat nu us befor an calld us be liek Baby Jebus.30 Wat him nu befor, datz hoo him calld; an hoo he hollerd fer, demz himz gibbd warm milk; an demz he givd warm milk, dem himz fed annuder cheezbrgr, srsly. Dubba brgr wit cheez. No mayo, dats nawt Kosher. Srsly. Mustard ok. An rellis. Hold da pikl, I dunno wer das bin. Srsly.

31 WTF den, srsly? Iff Ceiling Catz r fite for us, den who gunna hav Catfight?32 Him naild hiz own kittn, Baby Jebus, to scratchn post, so we no hez gonna giv us mor cheezbrgz an warm milk, an stuff.33 U fink u kan say hoo iz gud enuf? Onlee Ceiling Cat kan does dat.34 An hoo gunna starta Catfight!? Jebus hadda dirtnap, an he livd agen, an iz teh right-paw mitten uv Ceiling Cat, dat d00d hoo maiks cheezebrgz an warm milk.35 Den hoo gunna steels da luv uf Baby Jebus? kan Catfight!, or azz bitin, or no kibble in bowl, or no fur, or dangur?36 Da skripchurs sez, "Fur youze we face deth all day long."37 Nope srsly, webe moar dan teh winnarz uv cauz we petted Himz fur.38 I noes dat nawt dirtnappin or dancin, nawt Invisible Anglez, nawt stuff nows or stuffs in mornin, nawt lektrisity,39 nawt up, nawt dwn, nawt uddr aminalz, kan taiks us away frm teh luv we has, teh warm milk uf Ceiling Cat an Baby Jebus, teh Christ, owr Lord.

Translation (ESV):

28And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

31What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised— who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36As it is written,

"For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered."

37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.