Have you seen the light?

Simone's post reminded me of these classics. While looking them up on Google, I found a whole range of science and philosophy ones too... stay tuned for the next dose!

How many does it take to change a light bulb?

• Anglo-Catholics
• None. They always use candles instead.
• Atheists
• One. But they are still in darkness.
• Baptists
• At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
• Brethren
• Change?????
• Calvinists
• None. God has predestined when the lights will be on; or, None. If God wants it changed He will do it Himself.
• Charismatics
• One, since his/her hands are in the air anyway.
  
• Three. One to cast it out and two to catch it when it falls
• Evangelicals
• Evangelicals do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and hope the light bulb will decide to change itself.
• Liberals
• 10, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the lightbulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the lightbulb they may not go ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes.
• Lutherans
• None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
• Methodists
• Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved -- you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Churchwide lighting service is planned for Sunday, August 19. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
• Mormons
• Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
• Pentecostals
• 10, one to change it and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness.
• Presbyterians
• None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
• TV evangelists
• One. But for the message of hope to continue to go forth, send in your donation today.
• Unitarians
  
• We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.